Thursday 14 February 2008

Jewish Survivors Speak Out

A Mother Speaks Out!

I can't take it anymore. I can't handle hearing one more story about another rabbi abusing another child or another story of our rabbonim covering up cases. I have walked away from my synagogue. I am no longer at the same observance level.

What's wrong with our rabbis? What's wrong with our communities? Why do we care more about the rights of the molester then we do about the rights of our children and their families? I saw what was happening my community. The one I loved so dearly. Things changed and I had to move away.

I have pulled my children out of their Jewish Day school. I feel safer with them in our new communities local public school system. I can't believe I am doing these things. I don't believe in the system that I once loved.

Jewish Survivors of childhood sexual abuse, survivors of sexual assault, rabbinical sexual misconduct

"Back in May, 2006 new allegations were made against confessed child molester Rabbi Mordechai Gafni . This time the allegations were made by three twenty-year-old women who filed a complaint with the police in Haifa (Israel). The new claims were of professional sexual misconduct. The alleged offenses occurred during Torah lessons given by Gafni. Immediately after the charges were filed Rabbi Mordechai Gafni confessed and then fled Israel for the United States. He first landed in Boston, MA, where it is believed he stayed with one of his many female friends. There were rumors that soon after arriving in Boston he continued on to Boulder, CO and stayed with a colleague and then moved on to Utah. It is unknown where he is today. It is believed that he is in hiding and will attempt to reinvent himself again as he did back in the 1980's after the first allegations were made against him of child molestation. The Awareness Center is seeking justice for all of the survivors of Rabbi Mordechai Winiarz (past and present). If you have any information regarding the current location of Rabbi Marc Gafni please notify The Awareness Center, Inc. at once. In The Jewish Week article, Rabbi Gafni admitted to committing statutory rape. He said, 'She was 14 going on 35, and I never forced her.' He's been married three times. He was also engaged to a woman he never married. He walked out on his first wife when she was three months pregnant. His third marriage seems to be one of convenience. His current wife lives in San Francisco while Winiarz lives in Israel. Winiarz ran an organization called JPSY (Jewish Public School Youth). It was funded by such major Jewish philanthropists as Michael Steinhardt and Mark Belzberg (who seemed impressed by Winiarz). Once in control of JPSY, Mordecai Gafni self-destructed. On his second marriage, he got caught molesting a 16-year old girl (called Judy in Rosenblatt's article). I understand that a similar problem broke up his first marriage. When Mordecai was in high school, he was accused of various crimes and misdemeanors and illicit use of credit cards. Rabbi Gafni left the Boca Raton community suddenly. There were rumors that he'd had an affair with a married woman. There were a string of sexual allegations against him. He had to pick up in the middle of the night and move to Israel (and then took on the name Mordecai Gafni). Before the scandal broke, he was considering moving back to New York to run for Congress going into politics. The guy is obsessed with power. He also wanted to become a television anchor man. He knew he spoke well and he was just looking for ways to put his face before a lot of people. He kept a scrapbook with clippings from every article he was in. In November, 2004, rabbi Gafni spoke in a tent in the Modern Orthodox German colony in Jerusalem. Gafni was surrounded by girls as he spoke about erotic Judaism. A source says that Gafni looks like a cult leader."


—Vickie Polin, The Awareness Center, Call To Action: Locating Rabbi Mordechai Gafni aka Marc Winiarz and His Return To Israel

"Mordechai Gafni, 46, a rabbi whose charisma and brilliance dazzled students and large audiences in spiritual renewal communities in Israel and America, even as he dodged rumors and accusations about improper sexual behavior for more than 25 years, has been dismissed by the leadership of Bayit Chadash in Israel, a Tel Aviv-based prayer and study group he co-founded and where he served as teacher and religious guide. Gafni also has had a large following in Los Angeles, where he frequently preached and served as a scholar-in-residence at the Stephen S. Wise Temple. Gafni’s dismissal came last week after four women, including students of his and a staff member, filed complaints of sexual misconduct against Gafni with the police in Israel. 'We feel we were deceived,' Jacob Ner-David, a co-founder of Bayit Chadash, told The Jewish Week, which first reported on allegations against the rabbi in September 2004. 'He should not be called a rav [rabbi], his was not the behavior of a rav and he should not be in a teaching or counseling position,' said Ner-David, who noted that the incident 'is my worst nightmare come to life.' He added that Gafni is 'a sick man, and has harmed so many.' Gafni achieved much attention here and in Israel as a leader of the New Age Jewish movement. He taught classes, led retreats, wrote several books and appeared in a PBS documentary about the quest for spirituality. Rabbi Saul Berman, the founder and director of Edah in New York, has been an outspoken defender of Gafni. In a letter taking this reporter to task for writing about the controversy in 2004, Berman, Rabbi Tirzah Firestone and ethicist and author Joseph Telushkin said they had looked into past allegations and found them 'totally unconvincing.' They described the article as 'unfair' and 'scandalous.' This month, Berman said he is 'deeply regretful' of his prior support for Gafni, and worried that his past defense may have prolonged the rabbi’s 'predatory behavior against women.'"


—Gary Rosenblatt, Jewish Journal, Rabbi Gafni Ousted for Misconduct, 2006-05-26

"I can't take it anymore. I can't handle hearing one more story about another rabbi abusing another child or another story of our rabbonim covering up cases. I have walked away from my synagogue. I am no longer at the same observance level. What's wrong with our rabbis? What's wrong with our communities? Why do we care more about the rights of the molester then we do about the rights of our children and their families? I saw what was happening my community. The one I loved so dearly. Things changed and I had to move away. I have pulled my children out of their Jewish Day school. I feel safer with them in our new communities local public school system. I can't believe I am doing these things. I don't believe in the system that I once loved."


—JewishSurvivors.blogspot.com, Jewish Survivors of Sexual Violence Speak Out, November 29, 2006

"A rabbi wrote to The Awareness Center recently answering some the question we put out regarding what does Jewish law say we should do with a sex offender. We are currently working on an article with the answers, yet I thought it was important to mention that the Talmud in Masechet Sanhedrin 73a discusses the law of "rodef" (the pursuer). It rules that a person is obligated to prevent a murder, or a rape of a betrothed (or married) woman, even if the only possibility of preventing the murder or the rape is by killing the would-be murderer or rapist. The law regarding the would-be rapist only applies to a married woman because these women are forbidden by Torah law to the would-be rapist. We are still looking into what should be done with those who unmarried men and women. Also those who rape or molest our children (both related and non-related offenders). If you have information you would like to share on these topics please forward them to Vicki Polin."


—JewishSurvivors.blogspot.com, Jewish Survivors of Sexual Violence Speak Out, Agudath Israel's Take On Sex Offenders, November 29, 2006

"I don't want to say we are at war with our rabbis, yet we are at war with their ignorance and their refusal to change. If our rabbis really care and really want to protect innocent people they need to make the necessary changes today! Please look at the list below. If you know any of the individuals listed, encourage them to see the documentary called "Deliver us from evil." It's about a case of clergy abuse with in the Catholic Church. I personally feel it is mandatory for all rabbis of all movements in Judaism to see. The most serious problem of cover-ups and shaming and blaming survivors seem to be in the charedi world. They definately lack the education needed and we all need to help them open their eyes. We all need to demand that the following rabbis and other individuals watch the documentary "Deliver us from evil." These individuals need to report back to us explaining how the ways they have been handling allegations of sexually abusive rabbis is any different then the way the Catholic Church has been handling cases of sexually abusive priests?"


—JewishSurvivors.blogspot.com, Jewish Survivors of Sexual Violence Speak Out, A Challenge To All Rabbis Connected To Agudath Israel, November 29, 2006

"Officials at the Rabbinical Council of America, an organization representing more than 1,000 Orthodox clergymen, confirmed that the organization is examining sexual harassment allegations against Rabbi Mordecai Tendler. He is a son of Yeshiva University professor Rabbi Moshe Tendler, a leading Orthodox arbiter of bioethical issues, and a grandson of the late Rabbi Moshe Feinstein, the Orthodox world's most respected religious arbiter for much of the 20th century. Another one of Rabbi Tendler’s alleged Survivors is a young woman. She disclosed to various rabbis and friends of a horrific experience with Mordecai Tendler. These disclosures included threatening her with physical violence and was stalked by Tendler after he disagreed with some of her life decisions. Until this day, she is petrified that he will seek revenge on her or her family members. A woman confided in several community members and the RCA that she had sought counseling from from Rabbi Mordecai Tendler for marital problems. After several counseling sessions, his advice to her was that she could have some affairs if she wanted. Eventually, her marriage ended in divorce, and the husband and wife claim that Tendler pitted the two of them against each other. A 15 year old girl told a group of people around a yom tov (holiday) table that she went to Tendler for advice, and he repeatedly asked her to lift up her skirt so that he could see a black and blue mark on her thigh. She refused, and he became angry. A man stopped going to the synogogue after he asked Tendler a niddah shailah (a question regarding family purity laws), and his answer was to do as he does – to pray for Moshiach to come so that he could have many wives. One of the alleged survivors is a woman who has serious psychological problems. She made claims to some rabbis that Tendler forcibly had sexual relations with her, and screamed that he was the Moshiach during the act. She was also discovered on one occasion in Tendler’s personal shower by his housekeeper, and was carted away by the police, with no questions asked from his synagogue members or his family. One of Rabbi Mordechai Tendler’s alleged survivors was hit and physically abused on many occasions. She disclosed this information to several community members as well as medical professionals. The nation's leading Orthodox rabbinical organization is being accused of betraying women who say they were sexually abused or harassed by a prominent New York rabbi hailed for counseling women about their troubled marriages. Critics of the Rabbinical Council of America are blasting the group for giving Rabbi Mordecai Tendler and his attorney, Arnold Kriss, a copy of an internal report on the sexual harassment allegations, including the names of women who claimed Tendler harassed them. The RCA is run by Rabbi Basil Herring who bears responsibility for turning over the RCA's complete file on Tendler to Tendler."


—LukeFord.net, Luke Ford Freedom Center, Rabbi Mordecai Tendler, November 29, 2006

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